Why the scale matters; An honest look at Western Society.

The search for love and belonging is universal. Most have us have had experiences in which were

rejected. Rejection like any other emotion is part of life. No matter how beloved you are, you cannot fit

in to every group in this world. When you have a rough day, when things aren’t working out, it is natural

to look for comfort. Acceptance and compliments have greater value when you are feeling down. How

many times have you heard people exclaim, “Did you lose weight? You look amazing,” In western

society being this has been equated with beauty, charm, and dare I suggest, worthy of love.

There is a myth that many people live with; “If I had enough self-control, I would be gloriously thin,” like

the starved and photoshopped models they see all around them. The secular news is full of these

pictures. But if we are going to be honest with ourselves, the messages have penetrated into frum

society as well. Many Jewish stores have pictures of models wearing the clothes they sell, hanging on

the walls. In today’s techno advanced world, its not hard to realize that this image was optimized. One

can hardly blame the photographers, it is considered standard business practice to enhance the

pictures. Our magazines are full of advertisements in which the photos are once again, photoshopped,

so that everyone appears to be naturally beautiful. *

Although, you might be aware of this phenomenon, and think you are not fooled by the pictures, the

reality is somewhat different. Images get processed in your brain in your visual cortex of your occipital

lobe. Logic and intellectual understanding are processed in your frontal lobe. When you look at a

picture, you usually do not evaluate how realistic the picture is. Often you are not even focusing on the

image. It can barely register your conscious awareness. For instance, you can be reading a story in a

magazine, and as you turn the page, you notice the ads in the corner of our eyes. Or you are rushing to

buy clothes for Yomtov, and only briefly glance at the photos on the wall, in order to see if there is

something you like. Nonetheless. Seeing the perfectly dressed girl in the picture, has a powerful impact

on your brain.

When you look into the mirror and notice your flaws, which as human beings we all have, your inner

critic can awaken. The critic compares the image in the mirror to the photos stored in your brain.

Naturally, you might notice those imperfections and begin to question your normalcy. Seeds of doubt

get stored in your psyche. Do you fit in with the ideal image, are you worthy of love?

It’s often at this point that many girls and women decide to diet. If only I would lose x amount of weight,

surely, I would be beautiful. The problem of course is that mirrors are not photoshopped. And while

wanting to be healthy and fit, is a virtuous goal, it can come from a place of worthiness and acceptance,

rather than a feeling of not being good enough. Being healthy and fit does not mean looking like the

images we see around us. So how do we shift our thinking?

Begin by picturing newborn baby. Their little button noses, fragile little faces, and miniscule fingers and

toes., It’s hard not to fall in love with these little beings. You love them simply for being alive.

Hakadosh Baruch Ho loves us with that same unconditional love. What’s more, is that is how He wants

us to see ourselves too! Haben Yakir li Ephraim. You are worthy of love. You have a beautiful Jewish

Neshamah. Did you ever wonder how Gedolei Hador are able to love the hundreds of Yidden that turn

to them for guidance? They see their precious Jewish Neshamos shining through.

The next time you look in the mirror, picture your beautiful Neshama. Imagine a sparkling diamond with

vivid shades of iridescent beauty. Or perhaps you can envision a newborn baby, innocent, loving and so

very human. Whatever works for you. Harness the power of visuals to slowly create a beautiful self-

image. It is amazing how much you accomplish, when you feel loved. Hakadosh Baruch, loves you. Take

a moment to absorb this powerful message. You are loved.

*To clarify this article is not to rally against standard business practices, the goal it is to build awareness.